Now that we have that all cleared up, let’s get down to business. I, Allison May, (of sound mind and body) have decided to embark on a journey of undetermined length to remove the consumption of alcoholic beverages from my life. (Deep breath) Do I consider myself to be an alcoholic? No! But, having 2 big glasses of wine or a handful of beers every day starts to add up over time. You start to get used to being tired and feeling generally lousy. This little tiny thought about getting off the drinking wagon has been lingering for some time now, being suppressed in the dark crevices of my brain by a hefty load of stress and depression / anxiety. Plus, let’s be honest, change is never really comfortable even in the planning stages. Especially when it means taking away one piece of a really fun formula in your life! About two weeks ago; I read a blog post about a young woman my age, with slightly different life circumstances, on her own journey towards life without alcohol. This kicked me into gear! I will note that actually writing this down is at least a little bit petrifying, but mostly very satisfying.
Let’s back this up a step. I was never a big drinker in high school. Yes, I know it’s illegal, but don’t lie and say you never experimented! I spent my life doing lots of farm related things and had a pretty outrageously fun group of friends without needing to add alcohol. Going to college, obviously, was much more fun with its addition! Most friends know me to be a bit on the loud / outgoing side of things. However, I can actually be pretty shy around new people. So, my new friend (in the form of anything from beer to cheap vodka to jungle juice) helped bridge the nervous gap between being a total outsider and feeling comfortable enough to try and fit in. So, that’s where this adventure began. Turning 21 was fun because it opened up a whole new social window. At that point, I didn’t feel the need to get “white girl wasted” anymore. Drinking was just a casual way to hang out with friends and meet new people. Although, sometimes, peer pressure may have gotten the best of me and I spent a morning or two nursing Gatorade and popping Advil! As a sidenote, it’s actually kind of crazy to think about how much alcohol controls so many of our interactions. Fast forward to a few years out of college and struggling to find out where my life was going. I had changed jobs a few times to no real level of personal satisfaction and alcohol at that point made things A LOT more fun! I had a few hours a night of senseless fun with little to no inhibitions or consequences. Then, enter JT, my future husband and father of Lena. This transition period was especially challenging. Going from single Jersey party girl with her own agenda to Mom to be living in Virginia then Pennsylvania, alcohol at this point helped me to relieve anxiety at the end of a busy and often stressful day. (Of course, not during the pregnancy!) So, speed up to present day… I’m on a new venture to try and be a better person. Not for me, but for my main purpose on this planet, Lena!
So, the plan is to take one more negative influence out of my life. Truth is I’m not 21 anymore. I’m almost 30. Scary! I want to soak in (and remember) every second of life with Lena. I am more focused now than ever on making a positive impact on the ag industry through the show ring that I love so much. I am going to try this out! Things I’m afraid to find out are mostly things about myself that I’ve suppressed over the years under a cloak of drinking, but also how people I met in my “previous life” will react to this change! Of course, I like to think that everyone will be supportive and still want to be friends with the new boring version of myself. But, I know that’s not the case. So, goodbye alcohol and any people who only want to know me with your influence. I no longer will be known according to my drink of choice and look forward to more weight in my wallet and less around the waste! I already am a little over a week in. I have been craving chocolate like a fiend and have already improved my response time to Wheel of Fortune ;-) So, wish me luck! I will continue to share the journey with you all! Thanks for listening and sharing in another part of life with me!